A Pain You Can't See
by Kaden Frontae
Summary: It's pretty difficult to be friends with the person you love.


Hey guys...

I really don't wanna submit this.

Not because it's bad, but because this is the first angst fict. I ever wrote. Now as you guys know, i'm a fluff person; i mostly write cute, fluffy, funny, or romantic stuff. That's because when I write angst, it tends to just break my heart that I'm actually making a fictional character be in pain. I dunno, it just brings me down D:

The reason i wrote this though is because...well...it's seriously jsut perfect! I mean c'mon, Riku's already an emo puppy, there's gotta be a reason for it! so I thought i'd give my view on How Riku sees his relationship with Sora...

If you'd like to think of me as a cute writer, please don't read this; i could barley do it, so I won't blame you.

But I am proud of this, so i would lov eit if you did, depressing and all.

With that said, enjoy!

~Kaden

* * *

It's pretty difficult to be friends with the person you love; it's an obstacle course that never seems to end and is filled with a lot of bruises and pain.

You can't really help falling in love with someone, it just sort of happens. I'm not talking about puppy love or wanting to get in someone's pants; I'm talking about real love, love that comes from the soul. A kind of love that makes you want to grab that special someone and hold on to them so they don't suddenly fly away with their wings of an angel; A kind of love that makes you feel like you're in nirvana as long as you hold their hand; A kind of love where a simple peck on the cheek makes your heart want to dance and sing. It's a sort of feeling that you can't live without and don't want to let go, no matter how much it may hurt you.

But love isn't always the rainbows and sappy songs you want it to be; sometimes it hurts, a lot. You let your heart fall backwards hoping the other will catch it, but sometimes it just drops to the ground and shatters before you. Heartbreak is such a devastating and cruel hurt I wouldn't wish on anybody, not even my worst of enemies. This is mostly because I know how it feels and it feels worse than death.

My name is Riku. I'm 17 years old and I live on a small island named Destiny Island. I'm a pretty normal guy: good enough looks, good physique, cool guy attitude, always looking out for my friends, and enjoys looking out at the sunset or moon pondering things. Oh, and I also save the universe from being shrouded in darkness and evil, but that's another story entirely.

I'm a pretty popular guy at my school. I've had a fair share of girls swoon over me and ask me out. I suppose it's flattering, but it gets a bit suffocating at times. I have a few close friends that I hang out with. There's Tidus, the Island's residential blonde, Wakka the star athlete, Selphie the sweet and perky girl that every guy wants a chance with, and Kairi. I've known Kairi a pretty long time, and although we're not extremely close, we're still good friends. She can be a bit nagging at times, but I know she means well.

And then…there's Sora. I've known Sora for as long as I can go back. We've been best friends ever since we met. He's the perfect model of an optimistic kid: always smiling, always wanting to be the hero, forgives and likes _everybody, _and is extremely dedicated to his friends. There is almost no one Sora has met that hasn't liked him; he just has that aura that pulls you in and you can't force yourself to pull out. It's a rare occurrence to see that boy frown or cry, and if he is, you know something that would usually kill someone just happened. I still remember when he cried over his canary dying. Every girl on the island got him another bird. In the end he had enough to make a wildlife reserve.

He really is a great kid, and a great friend. He's always there for me and never fails to make me smile…

I don't really remember when I feel in love with him; all I know is that it was a long time ago and I'm still smitten. It wasn't really a choice; it was almost inevitable. Something about that goofy little smile and that can-do and will-do attitude was just so damn cute and attractive. I'm not really a sappy romantic or anything, but I feel like melting sometimes when I look in his bright blue eyes.

And dammit if his sweetness doesn't help! He was practically a puppy dog of a boy: Always ready to play some game, very touchy feely, and never out of energy. How one boy could embody the looks and personality of a golden retriever puppy was beyond me entirely. He was an idiot, but he was a cute idiot.

At first I was able to keep my feelings under control and hidden; I didn't want our friendship affected by it. But recently, I've found it harder and harder to keep these deep feelings to myself. I once found myself wanting to confess right then and there and kiss him like you see in those sappy love movies. It's a good thing I think with my brain instead of my heart, otherwise I would have.

The main reason why I don't tell him how I feel is because as nice and sweet he is to me, I know he only sees me as a friend. I'm almost completely certain that Sora isn't gay, even if he may seem so at times. He's way too much of a carefree idiot to think about things like romance with another guy.

The other reason I don't confess is because I believe that his heart is already taken. For a long time now, It's become more and more evident that he has feelings for Kairi. It's almost blatantly obvious: the way he talks with her, how they always hang out, and how nervous he seems to get when she comes by. Everyone else sees it except for him, apparently. I know for sure that Kairi loves him, She said so herself once. I think Sora picked up on that and thinks it's not such a bad idea.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck between a friend and a lonely heart or an ex-friend and a broken heart with no clear solution. I wish I could just figure out what to do or just get over it. I'm not a fan of stupid internal conflicts and this has been going on for some time now. Its putting me on the verge of tearing myself apart and its killing me inside not knowing what to do.

In midst of my thoughts, I felt a small fist knocking repeatedly on my head. "Earth to Riku," a familiar soft voice said, "Anybody home?"

I snapped out of my apparent trance and looked over to the cute spiky-haired brunette sitting next to me. "Huh? What is it?"

"I've been trying to get your attention forever," he said, his face wrinkling up into a pout. "I was wondering if you fell asleep or something."

I laughed nervously and rubbed the spot where Sora hit me. "Oh…sorry," I said, "I was just thinking about something."

Sora smirked elbowed me. "You're so weird, Riku," he said, smiling. Dammit, why did that perfect smile have to make my heart drop every time I saw it? I prayed that I wasn't blushing like a little girl.

"So," I said, maintaining my cool disposition, "What do you want?"

"Oh yeah," he said, pointing to the math book in his lap. "I need help with this problem. It doesn't make any sense."

"Well maybe you should have stayed awake while we went over how to do it."

"But the teacher's so boriiiiing! It's so hard to stay awake in his class." And then Sora pulled the most underhanded trick he could use on me: he gave me his adorable puppy dog look and pouted. "Pleeeeease help me, Riku?"

I stuttered for a second and then sank my head down to hide my blush as much as I could. Dammit that idiot was such a bastard sometimes! "…Fine," I said, trying to get my composure back, "But this is the last time!"

Sora laughed. "You say that every time, Riku!"

"Well this time I mean it!"

"You say that every other—"

"You want me to help you or not?"

"I'll be good."

I shook my head and leaned over to see the math problem the little idiot was talking about. "…Oh c'mon, this is easy. You just have to find the common denominator for the twelve and sixty and then—"

I then suddenly realized how close I was to him. We were practically cheek to cheek as I leaned over to him. I could feel the slight warmth radiating from his skin as his spiky but soft hair brushed against my own hair. I found myself placing my hand on Sora's leg, the brunette not seeming to mind. I suddenly found the urge to swing his head around and kiss him passionately, running my hands up his sides as I did. I'd finally tell him I loved him and lie him down on the hot sand, kissing him again and again as I started to remove his shirt. I'd kiss down to his neck gently and caress his skin as I ignored my jumping heart so I could savor every moment of tasting his sweet—

"—and then you'll be able to get y," I finished. "Make sense now?"

"Yeah, a lot more sense!" he said, smiling. "Thanks Riku."

"I smirked and ruffled his hair. "Don't mention it."

He giggled slightly and then looked at the time. "Darn it," he exclaimed. "I gotta go. My mom's gonna kill me if I'm late for curfew."

"You still have a curfew? What are you, five?"

"Shut up, you jerk!"

I laughed a bit and smiled. "Go on and get out of here. And if you don't do well with your math after all I did to help you, I'll bury you."

"Yeah yeah," he said. He then hugged me tightly and got up. "See ya later, Riku!" he ran off our little island back home.

I sat there for a second, still shocked from the hug. Alone and suddenly cold, I stared out into the sunset remembering the last part of my fantasy moments ago; Where Sora said to me, "I love you too."

A single tear started to come down my eye. I wanted to cry more, but I held back. Cool kids don't cry, after all.


End file.
